Read “Life After the Camino – The Discussions” here.
Read “Life After the Camino – The Yearning to Return” here.
Does it ever end? Will I ever be able to speak of certain Camino experiences without getting teary-eyed? Do you? For those who have done the Camino, once, twice or maybe even 28 times (I met a couple who were in their 70s who were completing their 28th Camino!) do you ever get to the point of not getting emotional about it? I doubt it.
The first few months after my return home, which I missed during my Camino, I found myself drifting into memories of specific time frames. Along with my memories came the tears. The Type A side of me wanted to “snap out of it” but my emotional side wanted to simply let emotions come through. I have learned after 18 months that these moments need to happen.
It took me more than one month to review all my pictures, and I took over 2,000 of them. I recall the night I specifically put aside to review the abundance of pictures in order to prepare the presentation I would share with family and friends. I had my herbal tea, gypsy Spanish music, and time. However within the first 50 pictures, the tears were running down my face like tap water.
They still do. Eighteen months after my return, some memories will bring tears to my eyes regardless of how stoic I try to be. I’ve learned to embrace the emotional force my experiences have unleashed. I’ve learned to accept that life on the Camino is sacred, special, and difficult to explain. I’ve recognized that the space and time of the moments that grip us to our core will forever be anchored in our minds. I’ve learned that those emotions have their place in our heart, and likely always will.
This past October, I had the gift of the visit of two of my French Camino friends for two wonderful weeks. We shed a lot of tears and we didn’t feel embarrassed or upset. It didn’t take much – a dinner conversation about a specific event, singing “Ultreia” in the car or even going through our pictures together.
The imprint of the Camino is on our heart, in our soul, in our memories, and in our minds. It is forever etched and has changed us (some more than others) indelibly. Close family members and friends know to just let me be when I get teary-eyed while telling a story or two about the Camino. I love them all for giving me the freedom to reminisce in my own way.
I have adopted tears as part of my Camino memories – tears of happiness, tears of longing, tears of sadness in missing the Camino, and tears of gratitude for having the opportunity to have spent weeks experiencing one of the most amazing times of my life. Tears belong to the memory of the Camino and will forever be part of its magic.
So to all of you, buenas lágrimas,
Sylvie
Canada
www.sylviehanes.ca
Completed first Camino in 2011
I am so glad this happens to other people. I walked in 2011 and it really was the most amazing experience of my life.
I enjoyed reading your story, beautiful “tears of joy”. Can’t hardly wait My Camino Experience. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your Camino experience, now I feel so, not…alone! Looking forward to the documentary.