Read part one here.
Read part two here.
After my hour at the Cruz de Ferro during which I paid homage to my parents, my second dad Louis and my mother-in-law Marjorie, I set out for the rest of my day’s walk. The Cruz de Ferro is a sacred place where many pilgrims seek to leave behind the memories of troubles, hardship, and other challenging life events.
I spent over 20 years working at a very high-stress and demanding career. As a consultant, I was expected to drive change in large enterprises. I was expected to lead projects. I was expected to take control of projects that were at risk of failing, and turn those projects into successes. I was expected to always be in control — and control, well, controlled me!
My need to control, which started with my work, permeated my entire life. Even the most mundane personal projects were controlled; part of me enjoyed that responsibility but part of me loathed it as well. When I retired from my work, it was less than two weeks before I found myself taking my first Camino step.
One of the things I wanted to metaphorically leave on the Camino, and specifically at the Cruz de Ferro, was my need for control. I wanted my life to be, for better or for worse, lead more by destiny and chance. I wanted to change my ways and although I recognized that 20 years of habit would be a long long process to change, I was hoping the calmness and the magic of the Camino would help me in this quest.
As I left the Cruz de Ferro I reminded myself that I would actively seek to let things happen without my control taking over. Fifty meters past the Cruz on the ground was a message that someone wrote in stones. It read, “Leave it behind.” I stopped in complete shock – there couldn’t have been a message more appropriate and I felt that this was yet another one of those signs that lead us to much thinking.
I posted on a major Camino forum a note asking if anyone knew who might have been the writer of this message. Many pilgrims stated they walked a day or two after me, and never saw that message. If any of you readers might know, or even BE the writer, I would like to take this opportunity to give a soulful and heartfelt thank you. That message brought my quest to light, and when I feel the urge to take over rather than let things unfold I remember the message, “Leave it behind.”
Buen “magical” Camino journey,
Sylvie
Canada
www.sylviehanes.ca
Completed first Camino in 2011
Sylvie, you are posing at the Peaceable labyrinth! How nice to see you there. When you (and other pilgrims) come through again, be sure to stop and see us in Moratinos.
Reb.