If there is one thing that I never thought I’d voluntarily admit to, it’s to being a “wannabe.” Or so I thought.
It seems that since the moment I decided to walk the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in Spain, I’ve had to let go of a number of things. Admitting and owning up to my own shortcomings, fears, and weaknesses seems to feature on that list with painful regularity.
So let me just blurt it out then: I feel like such a wannabe pilgrim right now. For almost two years I’ve been blogging and dreaming about the Camino. In fact, there hasn’t been a day since I heard of the existence of this journey/adventure that I haven’t found myself drifting off in thought about some aspect connected to it. I think my family will be more than happy to see me walking off into the sunset now, backpack packed, weighed, and hitched onto my back!
People have even addressed me as peregrina in emails or Facebook messages—I’ll admit that I had mixed feelings about that. I was honored that real, true-life pilgrims who’ve walked the walk actually addressed me in this way, but at the same time, I’ve felt rather guilty, as all I’ve really done to earn the title is to express the wish and intention to embark on a journey that will take me 780km across Spain on foot. Somehow it feels as if I need to actually be walking before I can add the distinction of being a “pilgrim” to my long list of decorations.
This brings me to the topic of my so-called “decorations.” In no particular order of importance, I suppose I could lay claim to the following: wife, mother, grandmother, friend, relative, scholar, and believer in God. I’m sure there are more, but right now those seem to be the most important ones.
I honestly never thought that the title of “pilgrim” would ever befall me, but then again, I suppose stranger things have happened.
Life seems to have the habit of shaking up your world when you least expect it. I’m trying to get a few walking sessions in with my new shoes before embarking on the Camino, and trying not to look at my empty backpack sitting on a box in the garage.
So in short, I have never felt like such a “wannabe” in my whole life. The one thing that I know is that on the fourth of June I have to climb on a plane to Spain, ready or not!
Pilgrim Emilene FerreiraSouth Africa
www.caminosantiago2012.blogspot.com
Anticipates completing first Camino in 2012
It takes some of us many years to match the THOUGHT of completing the Camino to the actual ACTION of completing the Camino. For others, it can be as quick as a thought – and they find themselves walking the trails.
Consider you know more about the Camino than most who are about to start – so pack well, pack light and leave knowing the title of Peregrina was right – – it was manifesting your future which will soon be your present! Buen Camino
I walked the Camino with Emilene and it is difficult to find the scope of words to define the thrill of having done so. However the first person I met in St. Jean Pied de Port was a seasoned Pilgrim who described newbies as children who she wanted to avoid. Yes, we were children with a childlike awe of the journey ahead and the wonders we would see together with blissful ignorance of the trials we would have. However I did not want to avoid anyone; I wanted to meet the “children” and the “adults” for they really are the wonders of the Camino. At least for me it was simply an incredible journey.